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Author: Marie
Date: 02-27-04 08:36
It would be nice to have choices in my life. I didn't chose to be fat but here I am a big fat momma. I wish I can choose to be thin but it looks like its not going to happen. I'm so tired of this mess. I eat right and exercise and watch calories and fat intake but my body said no you are nothing but fat so don't even try. I've even prayed about it but I guess I'm not on his good list. :(
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Author: BFL Michelle
Date: 02-27-04 08:41
You can be in control of your body if you want to be. And you don't have to be fat. There are too many people in the world and on this board alone that have lost weight and a coupld of us (not me yet) have actually made it to goal weight and kept it off.
You have plent of choices, you just have to make the right ones. If you are not losing weight it's becasue you are consuming more calories than you are buring.
So, eat less, exercise more or both.
Make healthier food choices that will make you feel fuller longer.
Check out:
www.eatingforlife.com
www.bodyforlife.com
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Author: CJ
Date: 02-27-04 08:45
Hi Marie;
Well sorry to say, but you did choose to be fat. You chose to eat what you ate and to disregard proper nutrition. AND you can choose to be thin and healthy as well.
You always always always have a choice, its not always a fun choice, but you always have one.
By telling yourself that you don't have a choice, you're giving yourself an out. You're letting yourself lay blame for something that you have all the control in the world over.
Don't let yourself fall into that trap. Assert yourself. Tell yourself that you can do it and do it! Everybody can lose weight, you aren't an exeption. It just takes a lot of hard work. And of course you're going to encounter obstacles, but you have to be resilent and perservere. Blaming and making excuses are the easy way out and you're never going to get anywhere if you rely on those mechanisms.
So get back on the horse...you can do it, we all know that you can!!!!
CJ
186.5/151.0/135
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Author: Lesleybird
Date: 02-27-04 09:00
I agree with CJ. You are not powerless like you say with no choice. You are fat mainly because you made some bad food choices. You chose every bite of food that went into your body. We may not get to choose our eye color, or our height, or our parents, but we do have the power not to be fat if we really are willing to put forth the effort and do whatever it takes. Quiters never win, and winners never quit.. If you don't want to pay the price of being thinner then stay fat and go on with your life. You choose. Sorry to be so harsh, but thats just reality for you. If you want the prize you must pay the price like the rest of us. Lesley
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Author: joan
Date: 02-27-04 09:39
How about starting slowly. Just watch what you eat every other day. It's a beginning. Or maybe eat better during the week and on weekends eat more of what you want. From my own personal experience I can't "not" eat what I want - all of that junk. I just can't make myself, now anyway, eat only healthy food. It's too hard, I give up, and that leads to over eating.
Maybe if you tell yourself that you CAN have what you want, when you want, but only a certain number of calories, you will be able to stick with a daily calorie limit.
If you can do this and lose weight you might realize that you will be able to eat what you want and still lose weight. For now anyway. Whatever it takes to get through a couple of days.
I have not "graduated" to the level of eating for a more healthy life. I'm still stuck in feeling sorry for myself because I can't have ALL of the food I want. But I have been able to lose 35 pounds this way so it's working for me now. Who knows what the future will be but I only look at it as one day at a time. Today I will eat no more than 1500 calories - of whatever I want.
Joan
255/220/140
11+ months
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Author: Fabulous@50
Date: 02-27-04 10:02
Marie,
All your posts are pretty much the same--you seem to enjoy playing the victim in the weight control game and the attention you get as such.
You ARE making the choice to remain overweight because you are getting some type of reward from it. You need to explore the reason behind that, maybe you need some therapy or self exploration (Dr Phil's book may help).
Suffice to say, until you stop getting satisfaction from the "I'm too fat and there's nothing I can do about it Pity Party" any attempts you make to remove the weight will be temporary at best.
Think about what I said and get back to us when you are really, truly serious about doing the work it requires to remove the weight and get healthy, and not just making a bunch of whiney excuses as to why you can't.
I'll send up prayers in hopes that you find the answers real soon before it is too late for your health.
Fabulous@50
225/156/150
Program Start: May 12, 2003
“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand - and melting like a snowflake.”
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Author: BFL Michelle
Date: 02-27-04 10:05
Good post Fab! I had not put two and two together and your post may be just was Marie needs. Sometimes the truth hurts but we need to hear it.
That's one of the things I love about this board, we tell it like it is!
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Author: Marie
Date: 02-27-04 22:06
WEll, if I could lose weight I would beleive me. But I'm tired not even God helps me.....So I guess This is it for me.........have a nice life
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Author: Fabulous@50
Date: 02-27-04 22:12
Marie,
You wrote: "not even God helps me....."
The saying goes, "God helps those who help themselves." Chances are he's waiting for you to hold up your part of the bargain.
Fabulous@50
225/156/150
Program Start: May 12, 2003
“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand - and melting like a snowflake.”
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Author: NancyB
Date: 02-28-04 07:21
Marie, when you say you did not choose to be fat, I believe you. I know many people who were raised fat from birth by parents who overfed them with the wrong kind of food. From this angle, the challenge of getting into a healthy body can seem insurmountable. Believe me, I have a niece who is already obese at 10, and I worry about her future and whether she'll have the desire and the wherewithal to lose weight.
And yet, it is possible to turn things around because I also know people who were fat children but managed to lose weight as adults. The problem is that it's hard. But it's possible.
If losing weight were easy there'd be no billion-dollar diet industry, and this forum probably wouldn't exist. It's not easy. But I repeat: it's possible. So the choice is yours. Life isn't fair, but we still have to get through it.
NancyB
160-135-135
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Author: Marie
Date: 02-28-04 09:16
Who said I didn't help myself....I also killed by self with diet pills....I've been on atkins forever and I been exercising. I thought this was a helpful site?
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Author: Doug
Date: 02-28-04 11:10
If you are overwieght and not losing wieght it is because you are eating more calories than you are burning.
How many calories you eat is entirely within your control. While how many calories you burn is primarily determined by your weight but you can increase the amount used each day with exercise. You CAN choose to eat fewer calories than you burn and lose weight. This is easier said than done but it is possible.
If you want to declare defeat and have us provide you with excuses and misinformation about how it is impossible for you to lose weight you came to the wrong place. If you want advice from people that have been in your position and successfully lost weight you will find the people here very helpful and eager to help.
Most diet pills are worthless, quit wasting your money on them. The people that lose weight on Atkins do so because they are eating fewer calories, not because carbohydrates are evil. If you think you can eat as much as you want of certain foods and not end up fat you have been mislead. Try going to fitday.com and add up how many calories you are eating and where they are coming from. Then start cutting back until you are losing 1 or 2 pounds a week. You will lose weight if you do this.
How much do you weigh and how many Calories do you eat in a typical day now?
Doug 272/164/170
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Author: Fabulous@50
Date: 02-28-04 20:35
Marie,
Here is a compilation of some of your posts over the past several months...aside from wanting people how to "tell" you to lose weight so that your pounds "magically" vanish-- the common thread that runs through all the posts is someone who is looking for pity, not help. Read the posts, see what you think.
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Aug 26, 2003: I need to lose 80# and haven't been able to do it. I'm about ready to quit since its been a few years. I guess I'll always be FAT..I'm just going to have to live with it.
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August 29, 2003: I only wish I could lose weight :(
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September 2, 2003: I'VE BEEN TRYING YEARS TO LOSE 80# WITH NO SUCCESS AT ALL. I DO EXERCISE 3 TIMES A WEEK AND TRY TO STICK TO ATKINS TYPE OF EATING BUT YET STILL NO SUCCESS. WHAT WRONG WITH ME?
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September 24, 2003: I give up...I've tried everything, exercise, diets, pills...do this do that! 5 years of this and still my wieght is still up.......nothing I do is right or working. I yet the doctor said there is nothing wrong with me and that I'm FAT and should lose weight. Well, duh but how? I've done the calorie counting the low carb and exerciseing my body still I can't move anymore.
Whats left? SO MY DEAR FRIENDS I GIVE UP!
*****The above post generated 14 separate encouraging responses from board members*****
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September 25, 2003: thanks for the response ...It very encourging. Although I can't exercise everyday I do go to curves 3 times a week and work my butt off. But its also discourging when the scale doesn't go down. This isn't because I eat like a pig either....I eat sencable meals and try to stay low carb. so now you know why I'm discourage. Today I go to the doctor and I know I will hear "YOUR TO FAT" speech....they just don't understand.
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October 3, 2003: (In response to Dr Phil’s Book) I JUST DON'T LIKE THE GUY......WHAT A CRACK POT!
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December 2, 2003: Can you tell me how you lost so much weight? I been trying to lose 60 plus lbs for years and can't seem to lose anything. I've tried exercising consistantly - dieting (atkins) and I'm so so (*^&**^&!!! FAT.
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December 22, 2003: Very time I buy new clothes and put them on in the morning I sign with release they they fit me. No matter how hard I try with expercise or eating right I can't lose weight but gain it. I'm really frustrated and I just want to die. I know my husband looks at me in disguse so I dress in the dark. We haven't been intimate for months because I'm so ugly. But what can I do I've tried everything.
Regards
Giving up forever
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February 2, 2004: I hear stories of people who are losing weight like on the Atkins I get email showing pics of people that lost over 100# I see it on TV time after time.
I read it on message boards like this one. How can I accept the fact that I will always be fat. I've tried Atkins, I've tried weight watchers, I do exercise and yet here I sit FAT. I can't suggest Atkins or any diet because I haven't had sucess on anything. how do I tell the people who stare at me that I've tried to lose weight but can't . How do I explain to the doctors when they tell me I'll to fat that I've tried the pills I've tried the diets and I do exercise . They look at me like ya right!
So, here I sit fat and sad and mad that I can't accomplish what others have.
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February 17, 2004: sometimes I get depressed at curves becuase they are stars with everyones names on them and stings showing inches lose. It will never be
I can't lose weight even if I exercise all day an ate nothing. So what you see is what you get.
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February 27, 2004: It would be nice to have choices in my life. I didn't chose to be fat but here I am a big fat momma. I wish I can choose to be thin but it looks like its not going to happen. I'm so tired of this mess. I eat right and exercise and watch calories and fat intake but my body said no you are nothing but fat so don't even try. I've even prayed about it but I guess I'm not on his good list. :(
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February 27, 2004: WEll, if I could lose weight I would beleive me. But I'm tired not even God helps me.....So I guess This is it for me.........have a nice life
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I'm still praying that you seek some professional help for your depression (I know you lost your mother recently); once you get a handle on that, you will be able to turn your energy to making lifestyle changes that will result in your weight loss. However, it will take long-term patience, dedication, and effort to remove the weight and make the changes. You will neither be able to "wish" away the pounds, nor remove them by "reading" what other people do--you've got to do the work.
P.S. It would help if you put aside your emotions about Dr Phil and read what he has to say about removing the weight. I also have some issues with some of his stuff, but when it comes to what he writes about weight control--having been through it, I can say he's pretty much hit the nail on the head.
Best wishes,
Fab
Fabulous@50
225/156/150
Program Start: May 12, 2003
“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand - and melting like a snowflake.”
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Author: Fabulous@50
Date: 02-28-04 20:40
This is the last time I will respond to any of your "please pity me posts." My posts have provided you with ample reward. You've had your reality check....now go and cash it!
Fabulous@50
225/156/150
Program Start: May 12, 2003
“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand - and melting like a snowflake.”
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Author: tweemz
Date: 02-28-04 21:03
Marie,
Just to let you know, Atkins is not for everyone, I did it and I gained 10 pounds then quit, and woes me to myself. I came here on feb 17, I didn't do real great the first week because you have to figure out all of the clicks, and with everybodys help, that is what I did. I am doing the 1500 calories, not a whole lot of fat grams, I don't count the fat grams cuz eric said you dont have to . And even though my offical weigh in is on tuesday, I can say this week I feel GREAT! I am doing very well with typing everything I eat and drink on the fitday.com and so far I have dropped a couple of pounds. I have more energy. So maybe you need to try the calorie intake instead of the atkins cuz I was at Subway today, and those wraps are full of high calories and fat and they specifically are for the atkins diet. CALORIES IN, CALORIES OUT. Remember that and don't give up.
Hugs`
Trina
I will be praying for you to have strength to stay with it girl!
232/221/150ish
start date: 02/17/2004
I will succeed.
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Author: Lesleybird
Date: 02-28-04 21:14
Fabulous@50, I agree with what you have to say, but some people just don't get it. A really great saying that I heard Dr. Phil say a while back about dieting and life in general is that "Winners do things other people don't want to do". Marie needs to get off of the Atkins and get onto a real food diet with some fun foods that she can live on for the rest of her life instead of a quick fix. I think that maybe she and Luna need to get together and mope about how unfair life is and how everyone else has it easier. For a lot of people the price of being a normal healthy weight isn't worth the price. They want it without the effort, and in an instant with a magic pill or food combination that melts fat away. I am not saying that Marie does not try, but Atkins is a very miserable diet that does not provide what the body needs. It's a wonder that anyone would get discouraged and want to give up on that diet. I could not live on Atkins for a day without wanting to tear my hair out. Well I guess that it is time for me, and probably you too to shut up with the tough love as it doesn't always work for people who want a reason to quit and fail. I guess that they can blame it on all the heartless people on this board who are hanging in there and won't let the others live comfortably in their denial. Lesley
Post Edited (02-28-04 21:34)
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Author: Incilia
Date: 02-29-04 16:23
Wow, I haven't stopped in to see what is going in in a while and I come back and there's all of this tension... I hope no one is offended with me putting my two cents in since I rarely post anymore, but I feel a need.
Marie: I understand that you've been having a hard time and I honestly believe everyone else can sincerely relate to the difficulties, physical and emotional, of losing weight... thus the essence of this site. Many of the people here have done a lot of studying and made BIG life changes in their journey. There are a lot of very intelegent people here who would like to share what they've learned about this process with you, and are willing to reach out to you offering support and advise. I think that the reason you may have struck a nerve with many of the people on the board is because they come here to be gain inspiration, and also to pro-actively help others with their weight loss. But, even more than this, many people here most likely have done some sort of soul searching to figure out not only the physical reasons for their obesity, but also the emotional reasons. It is hard to look at these things, but a critical step in making an actual life change rather than following one of the myriad of fad diets out there that will eventually lead to failure. The fact that you seem unwilling to do so, is frustrating for them. I agree with Fab @ 50 that you seem to be using this site to fish for pity rather than coming to these people to gain advise that you intend to let help you improve your situation. But as the saying goes "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." Fab and the others have offered you the water, but it is now up to you to drink. Open up your mind to the possibility that you absolutely have control over your weight and that some of the unheeded advise from the loving and intelegent people on this forum may need some review. Don't keep coming to these people with the same "I give up" post expecting them to react any differently than they already have.
began 10/05/03
220/ 195 /135
Strive to be comfortable in chaos and complexity. Be a shaman who walks in many worlds. Try to feel strong and whole and at home in a world of diversity. -Margot Adler
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Author: moni
Date: 03-01-04 13:46
Fab 50 great summary of the posts.
The common theme I saw there is Marie you are doing the same thing currently you said didn't work for you back in August and that nearly all on this board seem to have told you doesn't really work long term. Atkins.
I don't seem to think you have followed any of that advice you have been given by people who have taken off and kept off weight in a sensible manner long term.
I don't mean to be rude but why bother asking for advice and support and then completely ignore it???
I found this site, the comments make sense and the lbs are flying off :)
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