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Author: redangelrobin
Date: 11-20-04 21:10
I've totally destroyed my diet for the weekend...I think I've eaten a dozen chocolate dipped peanut butter cookies while staring at this computer screen and tv screen since my boyfriend left earlier today...
Rant:
this was supposed to be my special weekend with my boyfriend where we actually got to spend time alone together for the first time since the first weekend in Oct...I've even been talking about it on this forum because one of my goals was to reach a certain weight by this weekend...the reason for not being able to have alone time is because my ex pretty much takes our son for a weekend whenever he feels like it with complete disregard for anyone else's needs...I had a lawyer...he did nothing for a year but charge me a lot of money so he could write nice letters to my ex asking to set a visitation schedule....If I thought I could settle it in a civil manner with my ex, i would have...I got the friggin lawyer as a last resort after spending more than 6 months of my own time and energy trying to convince him to just agree to a regular schedule...by the time my lawyer actually got to the point of suggesting going to court, I didn't have the money to do it...I hate lawyers....I'm not going to deny my ex visitation altogether (that wouldn't be fair to our son either--he's old enough to know and miss his daddy, and does)....so I'm stuck for now bending over to my ex's visitation wishes....and it's killing my relationship with my boyfriend...we are already dealing with being in a sort of long distance relationship (2 hours apart)....and it's not like he doesn't like my son or anything...he comes over to visit when he's here and they have fun, but we really do need some time to ourselves...he sees me so burnt out from going to nursing school and being a single parent and such with no break but for the occasional time my ex randomly allots me (it comes to about a weekend every 1-2 months in no orderly fashion) and he loves me and wants to be there for me, but can't because of his work....plus, he needs me to be there for him as well...not just over the phone which is basically where our relationship has gone...so we've been arguing alot and talking about possibly breaking up...and this weekend only made it worse because it was so nice to be together and the fact that our quality alone time is dependant on my ex's convenience really hurts my boyfriend...he has come to actively need me in his life, and the fact that I can't be there alot makes him crazy...he was supposed to stay until Sunday, but he left earlier today...we're undecided about our relationship...but it's possible that it's the last time I will ever see him...so I'm depressed...and eating everything...I just don't know what to do...we love eachother, but other things are keeping us from being able to work our relationship...he said to me 'having a girlfriend 2 hours away with zero freedom is like not having a girlfriend at all'
started 9-14-04 @ 241
initial goal: 200
as of 10-18-04: 219
as of 11-1-04: 215
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Author: Elizabeth Ann
Date: 11-20-04 22:21
Gosh hon, I'm not sure what to say...
As for the food, all I can say is that while it can be comforting it solves no problems. I'm sure you don't need a lecture on food anyway.
And with your relationship, that's a very hard situation. I was just thinking that your son not seeing his dad consistantly but instead once every 1 or 2 months could hurt his little feelings as much as not seeing him at all. But I'm sure you know and think about that too, so I'm probably not saying anything new.
And rant all you like, I do it here too. I just don't have the experience to give you any really helpful advice, though I wish I could help out somehow.
I don't want this to sound preachy or like I'm judging your current boyfriend... but I think if he's in love and is committed enough to you then he will be willing to tough out the hard times right now... his and yours.
I guess that's where I can compare to myself and my reationship, because lately we've had to tough out a lot of hard times together. I've been told by lots of people (and even some here on this board too) that I would be much happier if I got out of my relationship. Well, with all advice appreciated I still toughed it out and am still working on it.
It's taken me a lot of determination and committment to work on the problems in the relationship I'm in. But, luckily I've got lots of that stored up, I guess.
I wish I could say something inspiring, but I'm not good at that. I hope things will work out well for you two.
~Elizabeth Ann~
205-195-135
10 lbs lost since 8/20/04
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Author: LeeV
Date: 11-21-04 08:13
That's a tough situation to be in. And I'm sure that you feel like you're being pulled in all directions right now. I perfectly ubnderstand that feeling, I think we all do.
I probably can't say much because I don't know the exact situation, but is there any way at all that you and your ex can compromise on something as far as him picking up your son for the weekend? Like make SET weekends for him to come and get him? No guessing, no maybes, I'm talking SPECIFIC dates.
Would something like that be possible?
220/175/130
Began New Lifestyle June 18, 2004
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Author: redangelrobin
Date: 11-21-04 08:47
that's the whole problem of the situation...my ex absolutely REFUSES to set a visitation schedule with specific dates and times....he's an ego maniac who acts as though he is doing ME a huge favor by taking our son at all and has himself convinced that I owe him whatever is to his convienience because of that...which is obviously ridiculous...
started 9-14-04 @ 241
initial goal: 200
as of 10-18-04: 219
as of 11-1-04: 215
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Author: LeeV
Date: 11-21-04 09:03
Oh. He's one of those.
~rolling my eyes~
I'm very sorry you have to deal with someone like that. But hey, just wondering, do you have anyone that would take your son at least for one night? Like a family member or good friend? Or maybe he has a friend he can spend the night with?
And don't feel guilty thinking about options to get time for yourself and your boyfriend. Everyone needs some time of their own. I don't get much of that myself.
220/175/130
Began New Lifestyle June 18, 2004
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