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Author: Ken
Date: 04-04-04 08:48
The Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the
posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name.
She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya
from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter in
Columbia."
The cop put away his summons book and pen, and said,
"Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."
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Matsushita Electric is promoting a new Japanese PC targeted at the Internet. Panasonic has developed a complete Japanese Web browser, and to make the system "user-friendly", licensed the cartoon character "Woody Woodpecker" as the "Internet guide." Panasonic eventually planned on a world version of the product.
A huge marketing campaign was to have introduced the product in Japan last week. The day before the ads were to be released, Panasonic suddenly pulled back and delayed the product launch indefinitely.
The reason: the ads featured the slogan "Touch Woody - The Internet Pecker." An American staff member at the internal product launch explained to the stunned and embarrassed Japanese what "touch woody"
and "pecker" meant in American slang.
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As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed
her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was
able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
minutes, the police had apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the
car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the
car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied
"Yes Officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
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When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motorhome parked on a
Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motorhome near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motorhome's
sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press
charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
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The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5am, flashed a gun and demanded
cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the
cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated, walked away.
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I was born an American; I will live an American; I shall die an American.
Daniel Webster (1782 - 1852)
working to do a little bit of good in this world.
Started May 1, 2003
367/314/250
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