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Author: leanmom4
Date: 06-09-04 14:58
Eric, I noticed in one of your most recent posts that you have 3 daughters....(and the bikini issue!!) I have 3 small daughters, and constantly stress over all the issue they will deal with when they are adolescents. Got any advice? Other than locking them in a closet...my mom threatened that, and well, seeing as how I am a mother of 4, it didn't work. Just curious as to how you survived raising 3 girls. My poor son is the last, and he will probably never want to get married after living with 4 women...:)
Hope you are doing well,
sara
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Author: Eric
Date: 06-09-04 19:48
I was just thinking about how fortunate I am. My "baby turned 18 Last Sunday and will graduate this Saturday. She will be attending UCSC next year.
My middle daughter is twenty and will be a Junior at UC Davis Next year. She is studying animal Biology and would like to be a veterinarian.
My oldest has graduated from UCSC and is working to get a credential to teach high school Biology.
Not bad for gardener's daughters and grandparents that never made it through high school.
I am so proud of them all. They are all really good responsible people, well respected in the community. They help the poor. They have great friends and nice boyfriends all, and between them have tons of awards, scholarships, and trophys. Let me brag:
Between them they have 3 varsity jackets, 16 varsity blocks, 13 captain's stars, and many MVP awards, most inspirational, and all league tittles. My youngest holds the league record for goals (90) in waterpolo. The have been in Robotics clubs, french club, interact club, marching band, including a drum major. We have one High School "best supporting actress," choir accompanist, choir members, jazz band, optimist club student of the year, and an oustanding scholar athlete. We have a National Hispanic merit scholar, a ton of presidential awards for academics, three Governors scholarships, two Bank of America Scholarships and perhaps best of all, nobody's in jail and no one's pregnant!!!
If I were to give advice it would be:
1) You can't pick their friends but you can make it very convenient for them to be with the nice kids and difficult to be with the shady kids. Know who they are with at all times. Call to make sure parents are there. This might embarass your kids, but soon they'll find the other kids who have parents who give a flying rats ass and they won't complain. Have their friends over as much as possible. I've spent tons of money on food and soda, but I figure I made it up in unspent bail money and scholarships.
2) have them stay busy. Support the stuff they like to do. Idle hands...you know. I really believe it's true.
3) Let them know they have a great future. College is the land of hot boys and parties. Nerdy boys drive the hottest cars and get the nicest houses.
Nerdy girls can get anything they want. It's all about the long term. No girl wants to give up an education and a great career, home and family for a roll in the hay with some smelly boy.
Finally I give you "THE RULE" for boys. I am a big scary ugly guy with a big beard. I always liked to make potential "suiters" think that I spent a great deal of time in prison and would "love to have spent time with a boy like you!" I say this in my deepest gruffest prison voice (they don't need to know my biggest and only brush with the law is a traffic ticket in 1980).
Then I tell them "THE RULE."
"Anything you do to my daughter, I can do to you. If you hit her, I will beat you. If you maKe her cry, I will make you cry. And before you have sex with her, take a moment to picture my face snuggled up behind you."
The less than honorable guys never come back.
Good luck
Eric
I intend to live forever.....So far so good!
272/ /188 1.5 lbs. this week. I dare not say till the cast comes off
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Author: kidsmom
Date: 06-10-04 01:33
Oh my gosh...I read this out loud to a co-worker who is raising two girls...while I have three girls and one lone boy....we laughed so hard...
Thanks for the great advice!!!! I will print this out and show it to my husband...and then file in my file folder of good parenting articles.
As my oldest is only 7...we have a couple of years before we have to deal with potential boyfriends....and it will take that long for my husband to grow a beard and look "prison like'" :).... I will read back over this many times .... :)
Great job with your kids...you have done an outstanding job. You're girls sound like they off to great starts as young adults.
Kristie
"If we are facing the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking."
Buddhist proverb
238/184/135
Started New Life Jan. 12,2004
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Author: Eric
Date: 06-10-04 07:29
Thank you so much. I really feel like raising children is the only thing in my life that I have done well, and certainly most of the credit goes to my wife.
I suppse one that I forgot is to be there to listen to your kids. I didn't realize how important this one was, but my wife and I have made it a policy to have one of us be available to be home for the kids when they get home from school.
One Friday (I was responsible for Mondays and Fridays) my daughters came home from school and rambled on for nearly two hours about their school day, and who likes who, and tests they took, and on and on.
When my wife came home from work at 6:30 she asked the kids what they did in school to which they all replied "nothing." She informed me that the opposite happened when she was the PIC (parent in charge). I was kind of sad for all the stuff I missed and even more so for my wife.
But then I was so happy that we had arranged our lives so that at least one of us could be there to greet them after school.
Eric
I intend to live forever.....So far so good!
272/ /188 1.5 lbs. this week. I dare not say till the cast comes off
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Author: kidsmom
Date: 06-10-04 17:46
I think that is a HUGE plus when raising kids...that is why I work such nutty hours....and when my kids are all in school...we will make sure at least one of us is home when they get home too... I will have to keep the listening thing in mind. :)
Kristie
"If we are facing the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking."
Buddhist proverb
238/184/135
Started New Life Jan. 12,2004
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Author: joan
Date: 06-10-04 18:10
Listening is so important! I made a point to STOP whatever I was doing when my boys wanted to talk. And being boys, that was not as often as I imagine girls would want to talk. No matter what time of day, what needed to be done, everything could wait while I listened to what they had to say.
Eric, what a good plan. To have someone home when the kids got home. I know that is not always possible. If not, then it would be important to talk to them when THEY felt like talking, not when I was finished doing what I needed or wanted to do. Kids do not open up that often - take advantage of their moods - when they want to talk, listen.
Joan
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Author: Elizabeth Ann
Date: 06-10-04 21:23
I want to be a mom someday. Quite a while away... but some day.
I don't want to sound like a whiner, so please don't take it that way. But I would have loved to have parents who "gave a rat's ass" about where I was, who I was with, what I was doing, how school was, what I liked, what I didn't like, my problems, my celebrations...
the list goes on and on...
My parents are VERY financially supportive... but that's about it. So, listening to what many of you do as parents is very inspiring. I often fear I will be a bad parent because mine cared so little... and I am scared it has been "passed on."
I will never forget to listen or to be there when my babies get home. I suppose, as a kid, that was what I wanted the most.
I just wanted to say that all of you guys are just so inspiring in so many ways.
Thanks. : )
~Elizabeth Ann~
205-195-135
10 lbs lost since 8/20/04
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Author: GymmyMac
Date: 06-11-04 05:09
can i just say i hope you tell them your proud...im a mid twenty nearing an end of a degree and i would kill for my parents to tell me they were proud...if you havent told them yet, make sure you do...you will be closer to them than ever if you let them know things like that
~Short, sharp and intense = results~
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Author: Eric
Date: 06-11-04 06:52
I tell them I'm proud of the often, not only for their accomplishments, but for the people they have become.
I intend to live forever.....So far so good!
272/ /188 1.5 lbs. this week. I dare not say till the cast comes off
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Author: BFL Michelle
Date: 06-11-04 08:05
You have been an inspiration to me since I joined the board! Not only for your knowledge of fitness and nutrition, but all this school stuff..man I tell ya, I could never do it. I'm having a hard time just trying to get throught my ACE PT text book. :)
139/104/104 - 5'1
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