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Author: Shari 250/166/125
Date: 07-04-03 03:40
All of you are pretty aware of my weight loss success, 84 pounds in the last 17 months. All of you probably know I see a dietician every couple of months for this also. I talk alot about my success and how I've been dealing with my weight loss and the issues surrounding it. However, all of you have probably noticed my lack of talking about my children and their weight problem (12 YO son and 8 YO daughter). Why is that? Because they are gaining and I am becoming VERY concerned about it.
The first year of all of us seeing a dietician went well. My kids maintained and I lost. My kids started gaining, by my estimation, about 6 months ago. In January of 2002, my son was 11 and weighed 200, my daughter was 7 and weighed 130.
As of yesterday, 07/03/03, my son weighed 211 and my daughter 141. They have both gained 11 pounds. Okay, I could rationalize it by saying they have each grown 3 inches and this could be compensating for it. Their clothes aren't tight by any means, but, they probably could each use a little more room in them. This weight gain wouldn't be a problem if they weren't ALREADY overweight!
I hate to sound mean and say derrogatory things about my kids, but, my daughter is becoming so heavy she looks puffy, like a balloon. My son's stomach hangs way over his pants and he's started getting stretch marks around it.
I know I've gotten lazy in so far as watching and talking about what they eat. A good example would be when we had a picnic the other evening and I didn't pay attention to what they ate. My son later confessed he ate FIVE HAMBURGERS in five hours along with everything else at the picnic.
I'm EXTREMELY worried about this and don't know what to do, other then lock up all of my cupboards and ration the food. I'm afraid my daughter will start getting picked on soon because of her weight. My son has turned into a bully, I'm sure, because of his weight - he either gets picked on about it, or bullys others until they don't say anything. He's the largest in his whole grade at school.
So, what am I supposed to do? Lock my cupboards? Harrass them all the time about their weight, possibly traumatizing them and causing an eating disorder? HELP!!
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Author: Shari 250/166/125
Date: 07-04-03 03:42
As far as exercise goes, we have a swimming pool and, by my approximation, both kids spend at least 2-3 hours a day swimming, not laps, but it is some activity. My son has a friend who lives down the road and they are frequently walking back and forth from our house to his.
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Author: Julie 174/ 140/ 125
Date: 07-04-03 04:30
Well, I am definately no expertise on the subject, but I thought I should share. Growing up, my parents seemed to watch what I ate, which could be a good thing, but whenever they werent' watching I ate like it was never going to be there again. I am not saying to never keep an eye on your children's eating , but the more you push, the more they will push against you.
It would be important for your children to WANT this themseleves, you could initiate this by setting good examples for yourself. Surely your children see you getting healthier and getting the comments you do on your success, use this as a motivator. Talk about healthy eating, and talk about your journey, your feelings, etc.
Like I said, I am definately no expertise, but this is what I might do in the situation. I feel your pain and will be praying for you and yours :)
Love,
Julie
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Author: TJ 223/188/140
Date: 07-04-03 04:54
I really feel for you Shari. As a child, my Mom let me eat anything that I wanted, never mentioned my weight. If I did, she would tell me that I wasn't fat. She did this because she loved me. So, here I am at 36 with a weight problem. On the other hand, I have heard that if you try to watch what your child eats that they gain weight too. My son (18 now) started putting on alot of weight when he was 13. He drank pepsi and I let him eat whatever he wanted. I would tell him not to worry about his weight because he looked fine. Repeat of my own childhood, I did this because I love him. Fortunately for him, he realized at 16 that he didn't like himself that way and lost the weight on his own and has kept it off. I did encourage him once he got started, but I had to tread lightly, in case he wasn't successful I didn't want him to feel like I thought he was fat. My daughter isn't overweight(13), but thinks that she is. I personally believe that you can only do so much. You are doing the right thing by not ignoring it. You can only do so much here. Just do your best and don't blame yourself. Your kids are old enough to find a way to eat the junk even if you don't keep it at your house. No profound advice here, I know, but just do what you can and don't beat yourself up over it.
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Author: Renee 278/259.5/179
Date: 07-04-03 05:00
Maybe they should start going back to the dietician with you. I don't know any kind of answer for this, but I also feel for you because I know that it hurts you for people to pick on your children or to fear that they will soon. I wasn't fat growing up, but I have always been big and therefore I always felt like I was different than everyone else. It is a bad feeling. Talk to your dietician and see what their suggestion is about the best way of bringing them in to your healthier lifestyle. Hugs........
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Author: Jaide 138/132/115
Date: 07-04-03 05:15
Ok heres my two cents.
Shari you have two beautiful children who you love dearly.
I can understand not wanting to hurt their feelings, or push them into an eating disorder.
But something HAS to be done, before it's too late.
You dont want to see your son 400 pounds as a young man, and go into cardiac arrest.
And you dont want to see your beautiful daughter at 350 on her high school prom night.
If they keep up this eating, They may just get that way. LETS PREVENT IT>
Heres my suggestion:
You will have to do a little work, but you love these two beautiful kids, so do it.
Make a family meeting to discuss weight.
Use a poster board and draw pictures.
Explain in detail, according to their level, how you lost weight, and how you are going to help them do the same thing.
Explain to them about portion control, metabolism, and how the body works.
Tell them you love them, and they are very beautiful inside and out, but you want to see them look and feel better.
Also explain that as a mom, You are going to set guidelines about food, for their benefit.
You know if they have bad eating habits they will get angry with you, but in the long run, they will get used to it, and thank you.
ARE YOU MARRIED?
Tell your husband what you plan to do, and make sure he cooperates. Stress that it is for the health of these two beautiful children.
Shari, I have watched many parents let their kids eat whatever they want and whenever and the kids gain weight, and develop problems.
You need to approach this seriously and with a go get em attitude.
If you want help, you could even have their doctors write out a diet for them, and use it as a guideline.
BUT PLEASE HELP THEM!
Even if they get mad at you, so what. It is for their own good.
My son is only two, but he has severe food allergies to soy, milk, eggs, and nuts.
These ingredients are found in almost everything, and sometimes it breaks my heart when he points to something he wants to eat, and I have to say no.
But I know I am sparing him an allergic reaction.
The same thing with your kids. You love them, and want to see them at a normal weight for their age, and healthy.
So if they whine about the twinkies you are no longer buying, or sugary cereal, or the limiting of portions, get over it and realize its for their own good.
You can do it!
You are doing a great job at helping yourself, now its time to help the kids.
ITS NOT TOO LATE
Jaide
PS) If you're concerned about them developing eating disorders, they probably will not, because you will teach them the healthy way to eat, and to love their body.
Also, think about it......if they are over eating, they ALREADY have an eating disorder.
Also you say they are physically active, great.
But make sure they take a walk every day.
It will do wonders.
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Author: Becky
Date: 07-04-03 05:54
Shari, I have no suggestions but a big ((((((hug))))) for you. When my boys were kids they were both very overweight. My ex and I were going through a nasty divorce. I was so depressed I didn't take time to try to help them with it like I should have. Thankfully now they both work-out regularly and are of normal weight. Your a good mom and just knowing you want to help them is great!!Take care!
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Author: Christina 295/240/140
Date: 07-04-03 09:05
I can certainly feel for your situation Sheri. I have an 8 year old son that 6 months ago weight 135 pounds, he now weighs about 115, so he's come a long ways since then! The only way I found I could help him with losing weight was to take out every single ounce of 'junk' food, processed meat and cheeses, ice creams etc. from my home and not allow them back in again. I then made sure I watched every single thing that went into his mouth and prodded him in a gentle way to stop when I could tell he really had enough and was just eating for the sake of eating! He still gets treats now and then, not often, but he has to hop on his bike or walk to the store in order to be able to have it! Have you tried making some of his favorite meals in a more healthful way? What types of food does he enjoy eating?? It sounds like he's getting lots of activity which is great, even leisure swimming burns a fairly significant amount of calories per hour! I wish you and your kids all the best in healh and happiness. Just keep in mind sometimes we have to be their guardian, not just their friend and part of that is doing things they don't always like!
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Author: Kim 170/157/125
Date: 07-05-03 15:18
Maybe you set up some kind of reward system. Like many of us do for ourselves with mini goals.
Like take 2 half gallon milk cartons and feel with water. Don't let them have anything else to drink until that water is gone. Then as a reward let them have a diet soda, or buy crystal light it tastes good and low in calories but doesn't feel like "diet" stuff. If they like hot dogs buy the turkey ones. Another thing... I used to do this..... I made way to much food at each meal where it was very easy to over eat. Only make enough for everyone to have 1 serving of everything. And if you are like us we eat pretty early in the evening so we have a snack at night. You can buy the 97% fat free popcorn, and put that butter spray on it since there are no calories in it. It tastes wonderful and it will be a treat for them. Or the no sugar added icecream, that's another treat. But if they over eat during the day you have to put your foot down and refuse to let them have a snack at night. I understand this is a very delicate situation and has to be handled with care. I will be praying for you that you will be able to figure out how to get this situation under control. Best Wishes.
HUGS,
Kim
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Author: Vicki247/212/200
Date: 07-05-03 16:19
If you ever want to email directly.
We have increased Nick's activity and he is slowly losing.
We have taken away snacky foods and cut back on eating out. That is downfall for us.
I like all the suggestions here, and I am going to incorporate them, my son weighed in last week at 154 and he is 9 years old. 5' tall.
take care and I will send you a big hug.
It has helped Nick go to Tops with me, he enjoys it and he loves when the other members encourage him.
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