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Author: Amanda
Date: 05-14-02 14:17
I have been using this discussion board since I have been on my program...and I have really come to use it as a great resource, and motivator.
I first want to say that before I started my program I would swing in and out of depression. Depressed that I had managed to get up to 286...and also depressed to know that my health risk was extremely high and that I was considered Morbidly Obese.
Today, I am 40 lbs lighter and I feel great…I am getting the exercise I need…and I am hitting the goals I set for myself. The problem is, I still do get mildly depressed. When I compare myself to others and I am still the ‘big girl’, it hurts. Yeah, I look a LOT better than I did when I started, but I realize that this is a long journey and I have a lot more to go.
I look forward to the day that I will hit my BIG goal, but I do know that in turn I will still have mood swings. So, if you are like me, and have your days, just know that you are not alone!
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Author: GymMachine
Date: 05-15-02 05:37
i know what u mean...dont u hate it when u turn on the t.v. and theres some skinny chick wearing next to nothing to sell coke?...or the diet coke guy who is all muscly...hell im male and i get pissed when i see a chick all skinny actin like a tool tryin to sell something like a pair of jeans. And i think to myself 'u could never be with anything like that, your physical appearance is so inferior to hers and she wouldnt look twice at you.'
sucks doesnt it?
but like u, all of us here have goals, and come hell or high water we are going to hit them, and maybe...just maybe....we will feel good enough to mix it with the best of them..until then the journey continues.
progress so far for me? im male and 21, 5 foot 11
initial starting weight - 198 pounds
cardio work and clean eating - 165 pounds
weight training and cardio with clean eating, currently- 172 pounds
and still not good enough........but we will get there.....because after all, its those adds that drives us as a society to strive to look like the way they do...and as sad as that sounds society says 'fat people arent attractive'....so we comply to society to change that.
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Author: Amanda
Date: 05-15-02 08:24
I totally agree. I didn't want to seem like some whiney fat chick, but I totally agree. It is getting warm here in Sacramento, and we all know that the moment it hits over 70 every 18 year old weighing 125 is out with their midriffs showing, and basically half naked! AHHH, but, I step back and I say, I can get through this. I can make myself feel good, and I will continue to hit my goals, and someday, I will be where I WANT to be, for myself!
Thanks for the words GymMachine...I didn't want someone to pop back and tell me to suck it up! ;o)
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Author: Dave
Date: 05-15-02 08:52
Amanda,
I know what you mean about the depression or at least the sad feelings. With me, when something bad is going on in my life (e.g. my Mom has surgery) my first reaction is to comfort myself with food. Then, after the event is over, I'm left with extra weight and I feel like a failure.
The trick for me lately is to use a technique I learned called switching. Basically, what you do is find a substitute behavior for eating. For example, if I feel down and depressed and my normal next step would be to go to the snack cabinet, my substitute behavior is to get up and drink a glass of water and grab an apple. I'm still eating to satify myself (which might not be a great thing) but at least it's a better choice. Otherwise, I'll substitute a snack with a flavored coffee or tea.
In any case, depression and the feeling of failure is something I think we all face. I have my own business and I deal with customers all the time. I always feel like the extra fat I carry around is an obvious sign that "I make bad decisions". It haunts me in meetings and when I am out at conferences. I am getting thinner and that feels good and over all, I feel much better than I did several months ago. But, sometimes I still slip back into feeling depressed and wanting to slip back into old habits. But then, I review my health goals, scare myself a little with heart disease literature and then decide whether I really want the McDonald's 2 for $2 or not!
The bottom line - you are not alone in your feelings. We all go through those things. The important thing is to find something that helps you get yourself out of the ditch, but that's not always easy. We get so focused on losing weight that if the scale doesn't please us, we are pissed off and nothing else matters. Once again, the one day at a time approach is really the best way that I have found to meet the goal. If you were going to make bread from scratch from a popular recipe and it didn't turn out, would we all never eat bread again? Of course not...we would start over and make it again until we got it right. Then, the next time we made it we would have learned from our mistakes. I really think weight loss is the same. We can't beat ourselves up because we feel like failures. We have to evaluate our recipe, determine what we are doing right, determine what we are doing wrong and refine our life recipe that works for us!
Amanda, if you are like me, you can tell when those feelings of depression are starting. Learn to recognize them early and decide well in advance what you are going to do when they start. You really will make a difference for yourself!
Take care,
Dave
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Author: yt
Date: 05-15-02 12:36
Hi Amanda :)
I definitely know how you feel. I'm a 22-year-old college student, and all my friends are in shape. Most of them are "naturally" thin, meaning they've never had to lose a lot of weight... but some of them are really buff from collegiate sports. It's hard to be the "fat chick." I started my weightloss program when I hit ~190lbs at 5'6". I was a size 16. It's really hard to be seen with people who can wear skimpy tops and tight jeans when I have to use every trick in the book to appear skinnier: wearing dark colors, standing up straight, wearing vertical stripes, sucking in my stomach, etc... I'm TIRED of trying to trick people into thinking I'm skinny!!
So I started eating right and working out, and so far I've lost ~17 lbs. but it's tough to look at thin people knowing I have SO FAR to go. My size 16 clothes are way too large and make me look chunky because they're baggy. My size 12 clothes are too tight and make me look like a stuffed sausage. I certainly don't have the cash to buy a new wardrobe. The thing that keeps me working out and eating right is the thought that someday I'll be in THEIR place, and I'll be able to wear a bikini to the beach and turn people's heads :) I've decided that when I reach my "big goal" of 140, I'm going to get my navel pierced so I can show it off all the time. LoL. I also set mini-goals for myself every month or so, and I do something special for myself when I reach the goals. BUT NOT EATING. I am trying to STOP rewarding myself with food. So, instead, I get my nails done, or go out to the movies, or something else that doesn't include stuffing my face.
BUT, the reason I wanted to reply to this is: Yes, it's discouraging to see thin people showing off their tummies, but they should be able to! When you reach your big goal, you'll want to show off too!! Some of those thin people were quite possibly overweight in their pasts. It sucks that society is so hung up on weight, and I definitely think that more normally sized women should be featured in commercials (I mean, for real... the average size for women in the US is 12-14!!!), but don't be disdainful of skinny people. Look at them and think, "I'll look like her (or better!!) when I reach my goal, and I'll be much stronger for it, since I had to work so hard for it!" My tummy might not be great looking, but there are other parts of my body I think look good, and I think we should all be able to show off our features without worrying about what other people think.
In addition, I have a couple of friends who, no matter how much they eat, cannot gain weight. For males especially, being "too skinny" is very embarassing and can lead to very unhealthy eating habits. You and I laugh when we hear their stories, because we'd KILL to have THAT problem, but it's also a tough way to go through life. Super-skinny women endure comments about anorexia even if they're very healthy. I have met very few "perfect bodies."
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Author: BeBe
Date: 05-16-02 07:59
How about me:
I'm 202lbs, 5'6". I lost only 12lbs since Jan, 02.
I workout everyday (weight and swimming) and eat right.
Size 14 is big for me now. But size 12 is tight (at my thigh). My waits is smaller about 2". But my thighs is still big.
Everybody told me that I look great, smaller than before ....
But the personal trainer measure me: my weight is 107lbs of bone and muscle, the rest is fat (95 lbs). It's make me sad.
My goal is 40lbs less within a year.
Wish me luck.
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Author: Amanda
Date: 05-16-02 08:42
You can do it BeBe...you can. Your measurements sound great--they really do. You keep up the good work...keep toning and working out...and you are going to be so happy! I myself can not WAIT to get down to where you are at now! ;o) I am currently at 245 and I am 5'11...I have a tall/large build and big boobs too. But, I have already went down in my bra size too...I was a 44, now I am 42. It is amazing how much bigger your boobs look when you don't have your stomach sticking out below!
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Author: BeBe
Date: 05-16-02 09:45
Thank you, Amanda. I will update my weight loss on this site. I wish I'm tall like you. My boob size is 38D and not going down yet. I want my upper arm and inner thighs are toner. Should I do more weight training? I like to swim. I do 10 min. warm up on Cross training machine, then 20 min. on weight and 45 min swimming.
Thanks again,
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Author: Michelle
Date: 05-16-02 09:51
Depression and weight gain are really a great tag-team - each one drags you down deeper into the other, i.e. a cupcake will make your depression better, but the resultant guilt (and eventually weight gain, when done over and over again) gets you in an even deeper depression, and so forth and so on.
I've often wondered if people in the centuries past had such a dilemma in their time, or is this a problem unique to our times when there is this big worldwide propaganda towards a certain physical perfection? It's really a big struggle to accept oneself as we are nowadays, know our physical perfection limitations, and just be happy and content at being in the best of health with a fully functional body.
I therefore think that the best way to fight this depression-weight gain vicious cycle is to do a reality check: what really matters, what can we strive for realistically, and most of all, know what we have and work with it to get it better. I used to fight the natural waves in my hair, the fact that I was hour-glass shaped and that my features are not quite the caucasian ideal - and I was miserable. Now, I've studied myself and learn to use my natural-born features - as un-Kate Moss as they are - to my advantage - and am so much happier.
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Author: julie
Date: 05-16-02 10:28
congratulations my dear! you have found the key to happiness! I wish all of you the best of luck! :)
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Author: Julie
Date: 05-16-02 19:41
I know how you feel and I know that it hurts but I try to think that I am only going to live once and why not be happy. I think to myself that I am doing good at trying to loose weight even if the scale does not move because I know that I am trying and that It will work for me someday, it has to. Look at other people they have done it right. Sometimes days are harder than others and I feel as though I am not a good person and that no one will like me because I am bigger than I once was before. I had a dream the other day I had rock hard abbs. We all feel this way one point in out lives but what is the point of being unhappy all the time. We are good people right and we are all pretty.
Julie
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