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Author: TARA
Date: 11-18-03 09:19
If you have any good info on this disgusting habit, can you please post it so I can share it with my honey? I think it's his only habit that I purely cannot stand. He doesn't chew much around me, but I know he does if he's drinking (that's the rare moment he'll chew infront of me) and probably w/ his friends. I don't understand it.
Another thing, is it really my business to care that much? I mean, obviously for the health aspect and my concern for his health. But as far as thinking it's gross, is it something I have a valid right to be on his case about?
I hate nagging but this is something I just can't stand. He's my fiance and we've been together for at least 3 years, so it's not like it's a petty complaint about a new boyfriend!
Thanks,
Tara
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Author: Jeanetta
Date: 11-18-03 09:26
I tend to think chewing is like smoking. The person doing it knows it is gross and bad for his/her health, but the addiction is still there. Check out Marlboro's website. They also make dip/chew and I saw a commerical not to long ago that said they had good info on quitting, health concerns, etc on there. If he isn't going to quit I would try to be happy that he doesn't do it around you, at least he is willing to bend a little :)
Jeanetta
210/159.6/140
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Author: Fabulous@50
Date: 11-18-03 10:21
As with any "bad habit" the person must want to quit; and that usually only happen when maintaining the habit becomes more painful than the symptoms experienced during the withdrawl.
Don't count on him changing his habit--the only thing that you have the power over is to change your attitude about how you feel about it. How willing are you to do that?
Fabulous@50
225/156/150
Program Start: May 12, 2003
“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand - and melting like a snowflake.”
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Author: CJ
Date: 11-18-03 11:09
I don't think she should have to change her opinion about chewing tobacco...its a disgusting habit and she's genuinly concerned for her fiance's health.
I think you need to make your fiance realize that it bother's you and to sincerely ask him to consider getting help.
This is your business. You're planning on sharing a life together. You don't want more sickness than health. The effects of this habit could and will last a lifetime if he doesn't at least slow down with it.
That may sound like a strong opinion, and i don't mean to sound blunt, but its just what I think.
CJ
186.5/151.0/135
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Author: jenniferNva
Date: 11-18-03 15:30
Oh girl, my man doesn this too. I constantly ride him about it, but there is no winning this war. Also, it is very costly... a lot more than smoking. I figured out that he spends $300 a month in dip. That is a car payment!!!! Also, his teeth are another expense. Oh, it is awful. If you get your hunny to stop, please let me know how!
226/164/140
Start Date: November 11, 2003
" I believe life is constantly testing us for our level of commitment, and life's greatest rewards are reserved for those who demonstrate a never-ending commitment to act until they achieve."
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Author: Gary
Date: 11-18-03 15:46
Perhaps you could go to this page about the hazards of chewing tobacco that is on a health care site and print it out so he knows what he is risking, and that you care about his health -
http://www.uihealthcare.com/topics/smoking/smok4995.html
....here is just some of the info from that page -
Smokeless Tobacco
-------------------------
Whether you call it chewing tobacco, snuff, quid, chaw, plug, or spit tobacco, all forms of smokeless tobacco are still tobacco. Smokeless tobacco is addictive and contains nicotine and other toxic substances. Its use may cause these problems:
*narrowed blood vessels
*bad breath and stained teeth
*periodontal disease
*an increased heart rate and
*cancer of the mouth, cheeks, or gums
The types of chewing tobacco include regular chewing tobacco and snuff. Chewing tobacco is leaf tobacco that is placed between the cheek and teeth. Snuff is finely ground and is placed between the cheeks and gums.
TV, billboard, and magazine ads promote smokeless tobacco as safe and socially acceptable. Smokeless tobacco is far from safe. Chewing tobacco causes cancer of the mouth, cheeks, or gums. This cancer can develop in tobacco chewers of any age.
Smokeless tobacco, like cigarettes, can increase the risk of heart disease and stroke. All smokeless tobaccos increase the user?s heart rate and blood pressure. Smokeless tobacco is not a safe alternative to smoking cigarettes!
(click on that link for more info)
Gary 360/175/175
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Author: Otta-no-better
Date: 11-18-03 16:36
Here's an old married lady's opinion. You get this fella as a package deal. He is the sum total of everything that has ever happened to him. He is everything he is. If you accept him, you are accepting the package that he is. The entire package.
While he may change as influenced by you, you cannot change another person. Woman have been getting into trouble over this for eons. "As soon as I can persuade him to quit drinking ........ "If I could just get him away from his friends..... "The thrill of gambling will ease up when the babies come...... "He didn't mean to hit me .......
Susan lost 40 lbs in 17 months
At goal, under 124 lbs since Sept. 10/04
Eat your protein, muscle is key
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Author: TARA
Date: 11-18-03 18:42
Wow,
Thank you all for your opinions and advice. I'm not sure if I can accept it as a part of who he is, because he's stated himself that he doesn't need it and he has gone for months without it before. Problem is, he's part of a team and it's fairly common amongst these guys. Argh! Anyway, I'm sure that gradually, I can influence lessening the long term effects by decreasing and eventually eliminating the use of it. I can't imagine our kids getting such a habit from him (in the future, that is ... no kids yet!). Sometimes I feel like I'm going to go crazy because I can't stand the stuff (I found a bunch of it last night) but then, I know he's sensible and maybe I just need to point out the importance of being even more sensible and quitting! Making his health the priority will be my strategy! I really appreciate your advice and opinions. It gives me great reason and backing to say and think what I do.
I want facts lined up for when I talk about tobacco use. Thanks again to everyone.
Tara
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Author: Eric
Date: 11-19-03 06:47
Tara,
If you marry the man, just remember you knew the job was dangerous when you took it.
Who was it that said Women marry men thinking they can change them, and men marry women thinking they will never change?
Just make up your mind you can live with it forever before you have fourteen kids with the guy, or find a non chewer.
Just one guys two cents...good luck...and please feel free to ignore me...all my daughters do...
Eric
I intend to live forever.....So far so good!
272/ /188 1.5 lbs. this week. I dare not say till the cast comes off
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