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Author: Jennifer Beauson
Date: 11-04-03 17:07
Lately, I lost about 7 pounds. But then some troubles in my life came up, I am sure that I am depressed, but haven't been diagnosed yet, and I gained it all back. I can never feel happy about my weight, body image, or my face. I think I make the definition of ugly.
I have a very large jaw, and small eyes. I always think I look strange. Plus, I have freckles, making my stand out even more. And that's just the face. Luckily, I actually like my hair. My body is weird. My stomache and my bum stick out, especially from the side view. So I look pretty strange. Like a double double hourglass. And I am 15. And depressed. Sometimes I seriously hate life. I wish I could just be thinner, and have a thinner, prettier face. I want my confidence back. :( I am really tired of being sad all the time. I tried to tell me Mom, but she tells me all she can do is help me get a professional and let me talk to her. She says I should work out too. I love to have goals, but with this goal, as in weight, I never feel like I can be successful. So I give up early, or I can't stick with it.
I don't know what to do about any of my many problems.
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Author: Gary
Date: 11-04-03 18:02
I am not trying to mininumize your depression, so don't take this wrong,
but always try to remember that no matter how bad things might seem
for you at times, there is lot of other people in the world who would love
to trade you their problems for yours, so try to focus on the positives in
your life instead of dwelling on the negatives, and keep up with regular
exercise because studies have shown that regular exercise really does
play a part in helping you to fight depression. If things are serious and
you want prayer here is a free web site I found online where you can
request prayer and they will have people pray from all over the country,
it is at - http://www.wnop.org/ a long time ago in my younger days my life was depressing and my older
sister was praying for me and I believe that led to me getting my life together long ago. Anyhow, please don't ever give up, every person has value whether they think so themselves or not, so dwell on the positives in your life and encourage yourself that you can make progress :-)
Gary 360/175/175
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Author: Anne
Date: 11-04-03 19:04
I can identify, Jennifer, but don't allow this to consume you. Honestly, most of us at one time or another in our lives have felt truly ugly. I'm in that stage right now. I think I've only felt beautiful a few days in my life (my wedding day being one of them), and the rest of the time I feel tolerable. One thing I've learned to do is strive to discover ways in which I'm unique. Things I do that nobody else does or is good at. Also, i'm looking into ways to discover new parts of myself. I've really gotten into decorating my home and discovering my personal "style" with clothing and activities that I enjoy. I took a pottery class this last winter and I'm planning on taking a painting class to see what I can do. Always remember, there is more to you than your body. I know it's hard to bring that to mind when depression sets in, but write it down or type it out in a pretty font, print it, and frame it. I'm serious. Honestly, you can be attractive and successful and joyful even without looking like Julia Roberts. Look at Oprah, definitely not defined as "thin" and have you ever see her without her makeup? Yikes. Doesn't look anything like the media projects. Discover life outside of what you perceive to be society's expectations, I have a feeling you'll be surprised that there are lot of people who will be drawn to the person within, not the body without. Chin up, we're cheering you...
Anne S.
185-157-125
"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced." James Baldwin
"It is better to wear out than to rust out." Richard Cumberland
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Author: Donna
Date: 11-04-03 20:00
Did I read right that you are 5'5 and weigh 138? Honestly, that doesn't sound bad. Let me explain. I am 5'6 and 139...when I look in the mirror I see myself as huge yet others see me as thin. I'm thinking you might be experiencing that as most of us do. One thing I found that makes me feel thinner when i'm having one of those days is platform shoes =)
~Donna~
146~146~135
Post Edited (11-04-03 20:06)
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Author: Fabulous@50
Date: 11-04-03 20:08
Jenn,
Aside from your hair, list at least 10 things you DO like about yourself; are good at; your friends/family like about you; or things about life that give you joy or make you happy.
Then make a second list of the type of people who you think are worse off than you.
I'll be watching for your reply.
P.S. I'll tell you one thing...your spelling is probably in the top 2 percentile for your age group!
Fabulous@50
225/156/150
Program Start: May 12, 2003
“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand - and melting like a snowflake.”
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Author: Jennifer Beauson
Date: 11-04-03 20:30
Thanks everybody. Sometimes what everyone needs is a little cheering up:)
It's been rough lately, and I thank all of you for your time. I really consider my body one of the most important things in the world, since I want it to last me to nearly 100. So, maybe that's why I am so fussy over it. :)
Thanks,
jen
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Author: Pianolady
Date: 11-05-03 06:22
There you go Jennifer. That's what I want to hear! Really wanting to take care of yourself because it's good for YOU is just fine. Just remember that it does take work, and you don't see results immediately, so don't let that get you down. Patience and persistence gets you where you want to be. Your weight isn't really bad for your height, but if you want those flat abs etc., hey, I say go for it! Remember to eat healthy and avoid those pop and snack machines at school (my kids are in middle school and I cringe at some of the stuff they eat, lol).
Pianolady
250/158/150
http://www.bondpiano.com/weightloss
"Success comes before work only in the dictionary." --Anonymous--
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Author: Shari
Date: 11-05-03 06:51
Jennifer-
I remember being 15 (I'm 36 now) and I remember feeling exactly the way you do - ugly, depressed, angry, hopeless, helpless, etc. I was suicidal. The difference between you and I are, you have a mother who is willing to help, willing to do what it takes. My mother shrugged me off and told me to "quit feeling sorry for yourself", and ignored me.
#1 - Take advantage of your mother's offer for counseling. I cannot stress this enough!
#2 - You may want to back off on the dieting until you talk with a counselor. For me, my eating was a reaction to my mood. Once you feel better about yourself and life, your healthy eating will follow.
#3 - You are not alone. Believe it or not, many 15 year olds feel the same as you - even those who you believe are pretty or popular. You are not going through anything that any other teenager before you hasn't....try to remember this is just a period of adjustment in your life and it will end.
I'm 36 now. I've been in therapy for almost 15 years (hmm....regarding an unresponsive mother and other issues listed above). I've been on Prozac the same amount of time. It has been determined that not only was my depression a reflection of my family life, but, I also have a chemical dysfunction that runs through my family - yippee - inherited depression!! I will probably be on Prozac the rest of my life, but, I don't care. I'm very happy with my life now. I have a wonderful husband who loves me no matter what. I'm a great mom (my kids say so) and I have a wonderful job!
I've also noticed, the healthier I eat and the more I stay with a good exercise routine, the better I feel and the better my depression is.
Please keep us posted and - go talk to your mother - you're very lucky to have her!
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Author: Eric
Date: 11-05-03 07:26
I disagree with Shari when she says "many" fifteen year olds feel as you do. I think "nearly all" fifteen year olds feel like you do.
I remember older people telling me That "These are the best years of your life" and I remember thinking "Gees how depressing is that!"
Thank God they were wrong! High school was the worst time of my life, with the possible exception of Junior High. Someday you will look at the pictures from these years and think how beautiful you are.
Eric
I intend to live forever.....So far so good!
272/ /188 1.5 lbs. this week. I dare not say till the cast comes off
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Author: Gary
Date: 11-05-03 07:46
It was a long time ago, but I can remember that being overweight in school made it a very unpleasant experience, too bad that the internet did not exist back then where I could have found a weight loss board like this one for encouragement and motivation in weight loss back then, but I am so glad that you and other young people can find places like this for help and encouragement now :-)
Gary 360/175/175
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Author: synchromom
Date: 11-05-03 08:31
jsut like all the others i too was a an unhappy teen. dont believe people when they say these are the best years of your life- you don't even known who you are yet.as the years go by you become more comfortable with who you are. i was depressed and had an unresponsive mom and a dad that disappeared. counseling does help. two years ago my 15 yr old daughter became depressed and started to gain weight. we got her into counseling and when she started to feel better she asked to join a synchro swim team. she's lost about 20 lbs and has a more shapely body- and more friends.
Ambition is the path to success.Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.
Lynda
225-195-150
started 10-20-2003
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